From:           Self <PDASA01>
To:             palmer@atsvax.rsmas.miami.edu
Subject:        
Date sent:      Fri, 8 Sep 1995 14:43:16

!TO MANAGER, ALL


THE UNOFFICIAL TEN TOP REASONS WHY THE R/V POLAR DUKE DIDN'T MAKE IT 
TO PALMER ON THE FIRST ATTEMPT

10.  There was noone to ask directions on how to get there.

09.  Palmer refused to send us dynamite when we were just over 
the other side of Anvers.

08.  Crew refused to moon ice to show ice what a crack looked like.

07.  Ed delong didn't make complete confession to barbie.

06.  Actually, we didn't EAT the Palmer freshies, but had forgotten 
them and needed to go back and pick them up.

05.  We hadn't all watched the ZARDOZ video four times.

04.  Only had Washington State wine and beer and needed to return to 
PA for some good stuff.

03.  Too many people touched the toe in PA, and nobody sucked it.

02.  Plot by entire ship's company to destroy Dave Bell's 17 day 
crossing record.

AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON THE DUKE DIDN'T MAKE IT TO PALMER:
The Duke actually spent two weeks in Tahiti and Ron faked all sit 
reps and reports.